- What's the world's thinnest book in the world? What men know about women. - How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One...Men will screw anything. - What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. - How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing. - What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature. - How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head. - What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up. - How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares? - How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know -- it's never been done before. - How are men and parking places alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped. - What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. - What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home. - What does a man consider a seven course dinner? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.